That’s a strong and frequent expression by Narrawallee social worker Andrew Humphreys in describing the gaps in health support, counselling and information services provided to men.

The Red Cross is funding Mr Humphreys for five hours a week at the Ulladulla Community Resource Centre for 30 weeks, usually each Monday, to assess that gap affecting local men.

Now into his fourth week at the centre, Mr Humphreys perceives a huge shortage of support services.

It’s not a counselling service, rather a call out for blokes to open up and tell him what they’re missing.

“Across the board there is a scarcity of male workers in the industry and current services for men often come from a raft of agencies that were set up to help women,” Mr Humphreys said.

“So there is a genuine lack of male staff providing male expertise and a male focus on mens’ needs in those services.”

He cites for example the need for adequate sexual assault services uncovered by the Royal Commission: “Management of counselling funded through the [commission] has been given to Rape and Domestic Violence Services Australia formerly the NSW Rape Crisis Centre, an organisation founded for women and run under feminist principles.

“Yet 60 per cent of those who have appeared before the commission were men coming forward who haven't been listened to before, they have often tried to speak up and have been rebuffed.

“There just hasn’t been anywhere for them to express themselves.”

Mr Humphreys also says in many cases “male suicidality is of adult men who are not mentally ill - they just have no-one to go to because of a lack of counselling support”.

“Eighty per cent of Australian suicide deaths are men.”

Another local current limitation is that Milton-Ulladulla domestic violence services won’t see men.

Then throw in the inadequacy of mens’ accomodation - “men can’t have their kids at emergency housing” Mr Humphreys points out.

Other inequities have been highlighted in public campaigns that exposed corporate blind spots, such as Telstra’s recent launch of a program to provide women affected by domestic violence with access to a new smartphone, pre-paid credit card and information of the safe use of technology.

“Admirable, but this service, which should be open to all is effectively denied to men,” Mr Humphreys said.

“In fact the media material from Telstra at the time about safe connections failed to acknowledge the existence of male victims and implementation of this practical support has been given to peak feminist body Wesnet whose affiliated agencies won't see men.”

On a bigger canvas, Mr Humphreys says there is a growing worldwide movement to support men who need help.

“AMIS - Abused Men in Scotland for example recently received 400 thousand pounds to support men in need.”

He foresees a need after his 30-week secondment of “probably one full-time male support worker in Ulladulla and three in Nowra”.

If you would like to seek assistance, contact the Ulladulla Community Resource Centre on 4454 0477 or coordinator@ulladullacrc.org.au for an appointment.

There’s more information at the websites of the One in Three campaign, SAMSN (Survivors And Mates Network) and Dads in Distress.